If God had a name.. what would it look like?

What if God was one of us? Would the real slim God please stand up?

In Judaism class recently, the Cantor told us about quite an amusing rule from the Talmud. Essentially, it is this- “you must not pray near where you can smell shit”. I kid you not. It obviously does not say that in that vernacular, but it’s a thing.

I am highlighting this because the old Jewish sense of humour is ever present, even in the holy book. God (or Hashem) certainly has a sense of humour, whether he/she/they is omnipresent or omnipotent or just om shanti om.

It is hard at the moment to keep this sense of humour. It is hard to defend Israel at times. Netanyahu is awful.. I don’t agree with the settlements that are outside agreed zones in the West Bank (Judea and Samaria) and other things that go on. I think that it’s a real shame Bibi is in power whilst all this is happening. I know they’re extremists on the Zionist side. However, whilst I lack the humour (and the tenacity) right now in light of the UN blood libel about starving Gazan children, and the two innocent people unalived in Washington DC in the name of “Free Palestine”; I still stand with Israel because I have critical thinking skills.

I have an analogy that is work related. Most of you can probably understand me better when I perhaps use professional environments as an analogy of something else. Might be my ADHD, who knows. So, bear with me here because my modus operandi for communicating is usually peppered with a bit of dark humour, but I don’t know if there will be any here.

If you have seen the fantastic US TV series- The Office, you will hopefully know the analogy I want to make here. In the show, there is a new manager (played by the gorgeous Idris Elba) and Jim (played by John Krasinski) wants to make a good impression. Now Jim may not be the best example right now because lets face it- Jim slacks off at work a lot, but hear me out.

The comedy in this series of events is quite amusing because it shows Jim, who wants to make a good impression with the new manager, instead being caught in several “compromising” situations. It then makes Jim look really incompetent in front of the Idris Elba character (whose name escapes me right now). One example is that Jim dresses up in a tux and it just looks unprofessional and weird in front of the new manager. On the flipside, Dwight instead of looking like the moron he usually is ends up looking more professional to the new manager, whereas Jim (perhaps unfairly) looks like an idiot. It’s like when you are at work and you work your ass off all day, and the one time you are on Facebook on your phone for 5 minutes your manager sees you? In many ways, Israel often has bad optics due to a combination of things, including cognitive dissonance, antisemitic bias and even some terrible behaviour and actions from the IDF, settlers and the government. However, some of these isolated incidents can then be amplified so that they become the overall picture of it as a nation instead of people critically thinking “Not all Israelis/Jews are genocidal baby killers, and all countries have problems and seperatism and extremists, etc” it becomes that essentially all Israelis or Zionists more specifically are genocidal baby killers.

There is not one intelligent person who would believe that all Muslims are terrorists. This is obvious and true. If we apply this standard and also then extend that standard out to Gazans/Palestinians then we must do the same for Israelis/Jews/ “oops I really mean Zionists”.

I understand why people saw the UN claiming that 14,000 children were going to be starved to death by Israel in 48 hours and feeling absolutely sick with rage. I get it. I’m a mother. You don’t even have to be a mother to get it. However, a bit of critical thinking and research would not go astray.

Let’s not gloss over the fact though that the UN is absolutely infested with antisemitic and anti-democratic nations. Also, it is important to note that Hamas is known for withholding supplies from the Gazans. They are very duplicitous and want to make Israel look bad as much as they possibly can. This doesn’t help.

Also, if you research a bit further you will find that the UN official might have been referring to 14,000 babies starving over a year. Regardless, it is horrible. Reprehensible. But also too, let’s not let facts and values get in the way of propaganda.

It is cognitively IMPOSSIBLE for every single IDF member to be a psychopath. At some point there would be people refusing orders (As has been documented) and also, not to mention the fact that the media ignores that IDF soldiers get prosecuted and summarily punished accordingly.

Two people were murdered today in Washington DC by someone with Islamic jihad sympathies (as far as the media has told us). They were murdered by a man shouting “Free Palestine”.

Do you remember the last time someone went on a rampage or a murderous spree killing Russians for the war in Ukraine? If there is an example, please tell me.

I said a prayer today for the people of Gaza, Israel and every other place in the world going through hardship. I said a prayer for antisemitism to go away and for all racism, sexism to be more manageable (let’s be realistic I am not sure God is a muli-tasker- especially if he’s a man lol) as these hatreds will never go away.

Whilst I was saying the prayers, I almost tripped over some dog shit that some dog’s owner had negated to dispose of. The irony of this and what I learnt in class recently was not lost on me. I burst into hysterical laughter because essentially my prayers may not be answered as I was praying quite literally next to shit.

Whatever God you believe in- whether it’s a quantum physics energy thing (like I believe) or an old man with a beard in the sky, if he had a face what would it look like? Joan Osborne’s classic 90s song is very relevant at the moment. What sort of a God punishes people and kills innocent children, makes natural disasters happen, etc?

Where is God right now? Where is Hashem/Allah/Lord/Buddha/Krishna/? If God is amongst us can he/she/they please stand up? You know for people (the Jews) that are meant to be “God’s chosen people” they have a lot of awful luck.

Would the real slim God please stand up? ;)